Spend a penny

Customer: “Where are the toilets please?”
Me: “Go back into the station *pointing* and take the first right”
Customer: “Where?”
Me: “Into the station. Turn right.”
Customer *Looking at where I am pointing and then pointing in the opposite direction*: “This way?”
Me: “There are signs. Look. TOILET. Follow them.”
Customer: “What signs?”
Me: *again with the pointing* “THOSE ONES. See the arrows?”
Customer: “Are there toilets in the station?”
Me: “Would you like me to go first and leave you a trail of breadcrumbs?”
Customer: “Rude.”

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Euphorbia Lactea. Or is it??

Customer: **holding plant and looking simultaneously perplexed and angry, like I’ve just insulted his mother in a language he doesn’t understand**  “What’s this?”
Me **Points to label** : “It’s a Euphorbia Lactea, Sir.”
Customer: “But what IS it?”
Me: “Um. It’s a plant.”
Customer: “Yes. But what SORT OF PLANT IS IT?”
Me **Pointing. Again.** “It’s a Euphorbia Lactea. I’m not sure what else you want me to tell you?”
Customer: “I want to know what SORT OF PLANT it is!”
Me: “Well, It’s a plant from the genus Euphorbia. It has a milky sap, hence ‘Lactea’. It’s a Euphorbia Lactea.”
Customer: “Oh, I SEE! Now you’re blinding me with Latin!
Me *in my head* “I’ll be blinding you with this pencil in a minute…”
Me: “That’ll be twelve pounds please, sir. Would you like a bag?”