It’s the thought that counts

Customer: *buying world’s tiniest plant, which I am wrapping as per standard* “It’s just….It’s just that…well…” *trails off, looks vaguely pissed off*

Me: “Uhmm?” *expectant face*

Customer: “It’s just that…it’s a present for someone. Could you just.. I mean…”

Me: *in my head* “Could I make it look like you haven’t just spent One pound Fifty?”

Customer: “Well….perhaps just a piece of tissue paper?”

Me: “Sure.” *unwraps perfectly nice paper it’s already in, locates tissue, cuts it to suitable size (postage stamp), re-wraps*

Customer: “And some ribbon?”

Me: “Sure.” *finds ribbon, makes world’s tiniest bow*

Customer: “And put it in a gift bag.”

Me: “I’m afraid the gift bags are two pounds.”

Customer: “I don’t have two pounds.”

Me: “Then you may have this perfectly serviceable plastic bag for free.”

Customer: “But that doesn’t look very nice.”

Me: “Well I’m afraid you’ve already used up your imaginary ‘free gift wrap token’ madam. Next!”

Room for a little one?

Customer: “I just saw a lady come out of the shop with a tiny bouquet”
Me: “Oh, ok?”
Customer: “Yes, it was a tiny bouquet. Really small. No box.”
Me: “Yes, someone did just buy a small bouquet.”
Customer: ” Yes, it was really small. So small. Tiny! I wouldn’t need anything that big. In fact…something smaller. And not in a box.”
Me: “Smaller.”
Customer: “Yes, it really shouldn’t be a big bouquet. A small one.”
Me: “Ok, I can do that for you.”
Customer: “I don’t want a box! God! No box! The person I’m giving it to will only have to carry it around with them…”
Me: (in my head)  ‘How small are their hands??”
Me: **patiently** ” Ok, well the bouquet you saw was fifteen pounds.”
Customer: “FIFTEEN POUNDS! I only need a tiny, tiny, teeeny bouquet…” **
**with no box
….and so it continued.