…But the kid is not my son

Customer: “I need some flowers for a friend who just had a baby.”
Me: “Sure! We have some beautiful bouquets -how about some peonies?”
Customer: “Sure, peonies would be nice. Do you have any roses?”
Me: “Of course! Red, white, pink?”
Customer (interrupting): “I’m not sure you understand. My girlfriend just broke up with me.”
Me: “Uhmm…”
Customer :”My GIRLFRIEND has just HAD a BABY!!”
Me: “Well, that’s great!” **internal nutbag alert starts clanging**
Customer: “So, I’m giving her these flowers AND IT’S NOT EVEN MY BABY!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT??”
Me: **Thinking that I am suddenly an unwitting participant in what is obviously becoming a pop up episode of the Jeremy Kyle show** “Honestly? I think that whether you give her roses or peonies is the least of your problems…”

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